Schedule a Free 15 minute phone consultation

The best way to find out it our coaching is right for you is to book in a free 15 minute phone consultation.

Send us an email to book in your free phone consultation today:

info@helpformums.com

1 year ago · · 0 comments

Weight Loss Motivation – The 3 Key Steps Your Need

Weight loss motivation is the key to long term health

Weight loss MotivationDiets do not matter. That seems like a bold statement doesn’t it? By this is the truth. If you’ve been blaming yourself for not having enough will power or weight loss motivation to stick to a particular diet, you will forever find yourself on the yo-yo diet circuit. You are likely to go from one diet to the next looking for the perfect solution to your weight loss issues. However, this is where most people go wrong. Diet experts and weight loss gurus who pitch particular diets often believe if people could just stick to their plan everything would be OK. The problem is that the diet is not the answer.

Everyone knows all you have to do is reduce your calories and exercise to lose weight

It’s irrelevant which diet you choose to take up. People who have succeeded on a particular diet will swear by it and tell you it’s the best diet in the world. But… what they have failed to recognise is that the diet per se was not the answer – it was their level of weight loss motivation. They just happened to be on that particular diet when the timing was just right for them.

Having motivation to achieve any goal (weight loss motivation is a common goal for many people) is driven by your level of self worth, how important you believe the goal and how confident you are that you can succeed in it. So, when friends tells you their diet worked, it is because these three elements were in perfect sync. Self worth was high enough to believe they deserved to lose the weight in that moment. The desire to lose weight was brought on by a strong need. For instance they believed it was so important to them at that time to lose weight in order to have the energy to play with their children, reduce an illness, or look good for a special event, and so on. Thirdly at that time they believed they could succeed because they had succeeded at other goals in the past, or they believed this diet could not fail, etc.

Click Here To Boost Your Motivation

Three Steps To Boosting Your Weight loss Motivation

Step 1: Trust that you’re worth it

You would have no hesitation in telling a friend that she is a worthy person who deserves good things. So it’s time to give yourself the same respect. Think about what makes you a worthy person? Why do you deserve to feel healthy, have more energy and live a life where your weight is never an issue? What would it mean to you to feel and look your best? These are the questions to start with. By delving into your self worth, you begin to find the source of thoughts and feelings that are holding you back. You also soon realise that ‘of course’ you are a worthy person. Of course you have a right to put your health needs first.

You may begin to think about all the great things you do in your life for others that you just take for granted. For instance, how much you do every day for your family, colleagues, or friends. Think about what you do every day to help run your home or office. You may prepare meals for others, support those in need or just provide a shoulder to cry on. Think about what those closest to you would say about you too. These people see the real you.

Step 2: Make sure it’s important for you

Think about what it would mean to you or someone you care about to lose weight and get into shape. Would it mean that you would be happier and subsequently be more relaxed and fun around your family or friends? Would boosting your weight loss motivation impact your overall health – for instance improve your skin tone, reduce the chace of heart disease or high cholesterol? Do you have a fantasy of impressing someone else by looking your best on a particular day? Would your loved ones stop worrying about you if you make your health a priority? Whatever it means to you… find what makes getting into shape REALLY IMPORTANT FOR YOU

Step 3: Look at past successes

Where in your life could you draw confidence from past success? When was a time that you set out to achieve a goal and you did it. It might be a course you completed at University. Perhaps you successfully completed a renovation you set out to finalise at home. Did you have the wedding of your dreams after all your hard work and dedication? Have you ever stuck to a budget, or achieved a financial savings goal. The key is to look for times when you set a goal and you had the motivation to see it through. That’s the key element to believing you can succeed at achieving your weight loss goal.

Losing weight should not be a negative for you

It’s important when you are trying to boost your weight loss motivation, to see it in a positive light. Think about all the things you are going to gain that make boosting your exercise levels and improving your diet really worth it. How much better will you feel as a result.

Click Here To Boost Your Motivation

lizzie o'halloran - weight loss motivation

Lizzie O’Halloran, BBSc, MASR, NLP Prac

Founder of Help For Mums & Happy Life

 

1 year ago · · 0 comments

Married with Kids – When You Clash With Your In Laws

Relationship problems with your extended family often begin when you’re married with kids

family conflict - Married with KidsWhen you fall in love with someone, life seems great

Then you meet your partner’s family and soon enough your in laws become part of your life too. In the ideal world, you would seamlessly slot into your partners extended family and vice versa. Unfortunately this is not the case for many couples and relationship problems often arise, especially after you are married with kids. One of the main reasons for this is that the family dynamics need to change when a new partner settles into a family as a new family ‘team’ is formed.

When you become a ‘couple’, you essentially combine one set of upbringing with another and hope for the best

Relationship problems often arise when a new partner does not seem acceptable to a family. In other words the new partners lifestyle, personality, beliefs or occupation are not accepted by the extended family. This can cause conflict for the person torn between previous and new family values and expectations. For instance, if you have always done whatever your parents ask of you (even if it’s unreasonable) and this conflicts with what your partner is asking of you.

In these situations there needs to be an understanding that adult children will need to develop their own lives and new family rules of behaviour. However, as a parent you can begin to establish family routines that can be maintained even after your children leave the nest, so old and new families can both feel important.

The concept of being a ‘team’ in a partnership is often neglected by many couples when they become married with kids. 

childcare decision - Married with KidsWhen children enter a family, issues with in laws can really intensify. Some inlaws become insecure and possessive of grandchildren. They may be critical of your parenting practices and place demands on when they should have the children. If you are having this experience, it can be very difficult to manage, particularly if your partner is in conflict with you. The ideal thing would be to discuss any concerns you have before your child arrives. Place some ground rules in place early, so potential conflict does not arise.

If you already have children and you are experiencing conflict with in laws, the way you communicate with your partner is vital to keeping the peace within your new family. It’s important to also keep in mind that your partner is trying to keep the peace. This can be difficult when in laws place pressure on your partner to see their point of view.

In order to manage this pressure once you’re married with kids (and not allow it to lead to significant relationship problems), always keep 4 things in mind

1) Always work as a team and get to the heart of these issues so they do not impact your relationship.

2) Do not allow these differences to impact how you feel about, or treat each other.

3) Talk about why you each have your point of view.

4) The key thing to always consider is “what’s in the best interest of our child?”

When considering the fourth point above, ask your partner questions like:

  • what are our family values in terms of how often we want to socialise without our child and how much we want to be the primary influencers of their upbringing
  • is it in the best interest of our child to be left with a grandparent one day per week versus childcare?
  • are you leaving our child in family members care just to appease them and to stop having to feel guilty for saying “no”?
  • how does our child feel about being left in this family members care?
  • do we believe this career physically and mentally capable of looking after our child unsupervised?
  • would this person be a good influence on our child?
  • will our child miss out on important social interactions if grandparent care substitutes childcare?
  • how often should we leave our child with family members – what are we comfortable with?

It’s important to feel confident and comfortable with your child’s carers when you’re married with kids

When you take away the emotion and just deal in the world of facts, you can have a reasoned discussion about how often, where and when in laws should look after your child. This way personal feeling are not hurt and you can look after the best interest of your child. That’s what really matters.

There is no right or wrong way to make decisions about childcare

Your (and your partners) personal and family values and beliefs will have a significant impact on your childcare decisions. For instance, if you have come from a stressful upbringing, you may be more inclined to want to protect your child from any potentially negative influences. In contrast, if you have come from a very warm and caring background, you may be very comfortable with your child being raised by various members of your family.

The most important issue for your new family, is to communicate your feeling. Be specific with your partner about your reasons behind your views on childcare. Be open to your partner’s views and concerns too. This way, you always work as a team with the primary aim of keeping your child safe, secure, healthy and happy.

What if we just can’t agree on childcare?

If you are having difficulties communicating with your partner about these issues, see help now before you experience further relationship problems. Take advantage of our August 2018 special and receive $80 off your first couples counselling session. Simply download your free coupon here and email us at info@happylife.net.au to book in your first session now. OFFER ENDS 30 Aug 18. If you would like to take up this offer, but are unable to attend counselling in Malvern victoria (where our office is located), we offer couples counselling via Skype also.

Grab your Free Couples Counselling Coupon Now

marriage counselling offer - married with kids