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We see clients over the phone, via Skype and in person at our Armdale office.

Contact us by either phone or email and we will do our best to find an appointment time for you that suits you best.

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(03) 9533-9985

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info@happylife.net.au

3 months ago · · 0 comments

How to Help Someone Who is Feeling Depressed

how to reduce stressIt is very hard for those who have never suffered a depressive episode to truly understand how debilitating this state of mind can make the sufferer feel. From the outset it can seem as though the sufferers life is so perfect. You may even think ‘how can this person possibly be depressed with how successful, attractive, social and caring he/she is?’

However, depressive thinking is not rational. In this state it is easy to disqualify any positives and to focus on the issues that are creating the depressive episodes. No matter how much others highlight the positives, the depressed person will find it difficult to disengage from the negatives.

The main core feelings underlying depression:

  • Hopelessness
  • Helplessness
  • Worthless

Therefore, these are the areas that require focus when you are trying to support someone who is feeling depressed.

Hopelessness

To assist with feelings of hopelessness, the individual needs to feel as though there is a manner in which he/she can take control. For instance, if a friend was feeling depressed about being single and having difficulty finding and sustaining a partner, the best support you could give would be to help her to regain self confidence and accompany her to places she is most likely to meet someone she is compatible with (such as joining a sporting club together, going out dancing together, hosting a dinner party with a potential single partner invited, or attending a social function together).

Giving your friend a feeling of control will help her/him to take steps to shift out of depression and regain hope in the future.

Helplessness

To assist feelings of helplessness the individual needs to feel as though she/he has sufficient resources and support networks available to get through the issues at hand. As a friend you can personally be there to provide support. However, in times of depression it is really critical to advise a depressed friend to seek professional help from a qualified therapist or life coach.

Where therapists differs from a friend is in their perspective (enabling unemotional support) and in the techniques used to move past depression into happiness and health. Your support as a friend will of course remain very important in times of depression, so one should not substitute the other.

Worthlessness

In order to assist an individual to increase worthless feelings, it’s important to increase internal validation. Reminding the person of past and current success is a good start. What is especially required is current evidence of being valued. Encouraging the person to help others and thus to see first hand appreciation for this assistance is a great way to see evidence of self worth.

The key here is tapping into the issues causing the depression. So if a person feels unattractive, taking her out for a beauty treatment or supporting her to get back into shape will help. If a person is feeling unloved, showing him those that love and support him will help. If a person is feeling like a failure, engaging her in activities you know she will do well in will also help.

In addition to these supportive techniques above, it is very important to encourage healthy eating and increasing physical activity. Thee two behaviours have a huge impact on moods. Being a good friend could be as simple as supporting your friends to get healthy.

Always remember that there is tremendous power in friendship support. Your ability to help a person in need is one of the most valuable and rewarding aspects of being a human being.

To seek help with depression visit The Happy Life website at: http://www.helpformums.com/home/how-to-build-self-confidence-and-self-esteem-online-course/

8 months ago · · 0 comments

How to get your baby to sleep

getting-baby-to-sleep

How to get baby to sleep

Are you suffering from sleep deprivation?

As a new mum it’s highly likely that you heard about sleep deprivation but never really understood it until now. It would be great if all babies just fell asleep when they were tired but the reality is that all babies are different and most babies need some form of assistance from you as the new mum to help get to sleep and to stay asleep (download my free parenting made easier guide that details how to parent with child temperament in mind here).

When it comes to your baby sleeping there are two very important motivations – 1) to give your baby a rest and 2) to give you a rest. The second point is vital for both your sanity and for your ability to parent in a calm, rational and safe manner. So bearing this in mind there a few things you need to decide on:

A) am I prepared to let my child cry it out?

B) will my baby even respond to crying it out (see the child temperament ebook to understand that some babies won’t)

C) Do I care if my child does not sleep in a cot – eg co-sleeps safely?

D) what does my child need to go to sleep – eg comfort, reassurance, food?

E) am I prepared to relax my expectations and do what I think is right for us, rather than worrying about what I think will make others happy?

Now, besides all the usual things by now you know to look out for in your baby (eg first signs he/she is tired – like pulling ears and hair or yawning) there are a few extra things you can do to help your baby sleep – once you have addressed A – E above.

1) If your baby has a sore tummy due to excess wind, try picking her up and with one hand gently on the lower tummy gently bounce her/him to allow the wind to move down and pass through. You can also try rubbing the tummy or gently holding both feet and rocking the legs up and down and side to side to pass the wind. Both my girls had lots of wind and these methods worked for them. We also used a natural product called Colic calm which we found very beneficial.

2) if your baby is regularly waking up he/ she may just need extra comfort. Here you have several options.

-) invest in a baby sling so your baby can sleep with you and you can still get on with your day. Personally I have used the Baba Sling for both of my kids and I love it because it’s adaptable up to 2 years of age and has freed me up to have a normal life whilst my girls have received the comfort they need.

-) if your baby keeps waking up, check if your baby has a wet or dirty nappy. Some babies really feel uncomfortable so need to be changed more often. Keep the nappies close to the cot and sleep baby in a grow bag so it’s quick and not too disruptive to change the nappy at night.

-) ensure your baby has had enough to eat so she’s only waking up when expected. When your baby gets older make sure you leave at least an Hour between the last meal and bedtime to avoid a sore tummy, when you’re baby is smaller though keep her in a more inclined position in bed, the pram etc to avoid excess wind. For instance place an extra folded blanket under the head of the mattress to incline the top only slightly so your baby won’t roll to the bottom of the bed. Remember to always follow SIDS sleeping guidelines so your baby is save and don’t place any blankets on top of your baby which could cover his head.

-) with a baby who needs extra comfort it’s all about either giving in to co-sleeping (again ensuring you’re following SIDS safe sleeping guidelines) or investing in a cot that you can place next to your bed so you can gently roll your baby over to the open cot next to you without you baby realising. I highly recommend the Bednest Bedside Cot. Not only is it beautiful, it serves this purpose perfectly.

There are lots of things you can do to ensure you get some sleep and your baby does too. The important thing is to not get stressed if your baby doesn’t just gently drift off to sleep. Your baby has spent months close to you, so it only makes sense that he/she may need some assistance to get to sleep. Be kind to yourself and be patient. You may need to try a few different things before you get it right.

If you’re a new mum and you feel you need some more personalised support, contact me at info@happylife.net.au to book in a private session or visit https://www.helpformums.com/products/coaching_for_new_mums for more information about Wellness coaching for Mums

Lizzie O’Halloran, BBSc, MASR, NLP Prac

Positive Parenting Blog

Positive Parenting Blog