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6 months ago · · 0 comments

Stop Fear Holidng Your Back From Your Success

how to reduce fearFear can become the biggest evil on earth.

Yet how easily it is ingrained in our minds from a very early age.

From the moment of conception a mother begins to fear. She fears for the safety of her child. She fears she will not be a perfect mother, she fears her child may be hurt by others and so on… The energy of fear is being transferred to her child from this very early stage of life and continues to be ingrained in her child throughout life, in an effort to protect her child from harm. Yet, this very intention breads further fear in her child and often attracts the very negative fears that were her intention to be avoided through the constant reminder of how scary the world really is.

Whilst one can say that children need to be made aware of things and people that can hurt them, there are two ways to achieve the same outcome. The first is through fear and the second is through reasoning without fear. Our natural instinct as parents is to use fear. We assume if we scare our kids enough they won’t engage in dangerous behaviours such as running across the toad without looking, swallowing dangerous objects and falling over and hurting their bodies. However, the imbedding of such fears subsequently leads to an internal belief that the world is a scary and dangerous place (the news also enhances thus belief by showing a very skewed perspective of the world as though only horrible things are happening every day).

On the flip side, if you choose to use calm reasoning with your children to help them understand that there is a reward for safe behaviours rather than always a punishment for unsafe behaviours, they will learn to use reasoned judgement and to live their lives in a way that values the ‘self’. They will in turn not learn to fear any new experience and will also learn to not to fear things that appear to be different to them.

So many of life’s tragedy’s have been caused by fear of difference, yet at the core, we are all human beings. When we look at others we need to see the soul, not the exterior. This is where the true person lies.

If you are a parent, start to pay attention to how you may be installing fear in your child/ten. It is extremely easy to do, but it’s never too late to begin to adjust how you explain potentially dangerous behaviours.

Breeding fear can also lead to retaliation, as children start to think you must be exaggerating. They test the boundaries even more because these fearful behaviours are potentially naughty and would be so exciting to engage in and get away with. So, the intention to keep your child safe can end up causing the reverse to happen.

As an adult, also be mindful of the way you were taught to fear things in your environment, such as crossing roads, the boogie man, sun burn, falling down, getting on a plane, wearing a seat belt, talking in church, laughing in class etc… The explanations behind these things will dictate how much you fear your current life and how you allow fear to hold you back from enjoying and succeeding in every aspect of your life.

Yes, be safe and keep your kids safe but be careful in the manner used to explain the reasons behind engaging in safe behaviours.

If fear is holding you back in life or causing your pain contact Happy Life at http://www.helpformums.com/home/how-to-build-self-confidence-and-self-esteem-online-course/

6 months ago · · 2 comments

How To Improve Your Self Esteem With a Simple Step

boost self confidenceIt is very interesting to note the impact that an alteration in your language can have on how you feel about yourself and on your life overall. Altering your internal language to say you want to improve your life rather than change your life is a very good example of this.

When you say you want to change your life, the underlying message (implication) is that overall your life is terrible and hence needs a complete change. However, this is not true. Every person can finds things in life to be happy about and proud of, such as:

– saving money for a holiday
– finishing a degree/course
– supporting a friend or loved one
– buying a home
– buying a car
– getting into shape
– creating close friendships
– helping a client at work
– delivering a speech
– taking a risk that paid off

… And so on…

The pursuit of goals and desires

Often you can find yourself unhappy with your current situation because your goals and desires are not manifesting quickly enough – or at all (eg wanting a career change, a partner, a baby, more money, close friends). This perceived failure can cause you to tell yourself regularly that your life is unsuccessful and therefore you ‘must’ find a way to change your life in order to find happiness. Believing this can leave you feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.

Telling yourself you must change also implies you can’t stand things the way they are now, yet you are already ‘standing’ things right now. It might not be pleasant but you are stronger than you most likely give yourself credit.

Changing your language

If you alter your language simply by saying ‘i want to improve my life’, the implication will be that there are many things to be happy about right now, but you want more (eg you already have some great friends, you have money to survive, you have a loving partner.. And so on).

This new way of speaking serves to empower you and motivate you to achieve your desires. In other words, you start to believe you can and will enhance your life and that your life to-date is pretty good, despite not yet achieving your current desires.

You have a right to want more. In fact, the pursuit of desires is what makes life so exciting. See your goals as a way of enhancing your life and be appreciative and mindful of what you achieved so far.

To find more inspiration and support visit Happy Life at: http://www.helpformums.com/home/how-to-build-self-confidence-and-self-esteem-online-course/

10 months ago · · 0 comments

Improving Self esteem tips: How to know it’s time for a break

life-coach-professionals-student

life coaching for professionals and student

Why it’s important to take a break for your self confidence and self esteem

I am a very driven person. It’s something I learnt from my mother who has an amazing ability to decide she wants something and then go for it. My internal drive pushes me through when I feel like I have nothing left to give. However, the down side is it can be difficult to know when to stop, when to take a break, or when to shift focus.

Over the years I have learnt various ways to identify there is a need to stop and also now ensure I schedule a week off once a year to rest and recuperate.

One of the things that happens as a result of burn out is poor decision making. The consequence of pore decision making is usually negative feedback. When you think of self esteem and self confidence a great deal is based on your perceptions on yourself and these are based on internal and external validation.

When you feeling burnt out you begin to increase self criticism, have a tendency to judge yourself too harshly and can assume you are being judged negatively by others also. As a result your internal validation is very low and you perceive your external validation to be low also. Both of these things are a recipe for poor Self esteem.

So how do you know it’s time to take a break?

One of the most obvious signs is when you feel like you are pushing against the flow rather than travelling along the flow. In other words things feel like a real struggle. This often happens when you’re feeling burnt out in business. Your ideas don’t flow as easily, you feel like you’re pushing people to buy your products and you’re no longer truly enjoying the process.

When you feel you are working too hard and not enjoying the flow or seeing any real progress, it’s time to take a break. It’s not time to quit. This is not the time to give up, but rather to give yourself headspace to come up with more innovative ideas to grown and succeed in your endeavours.

So protect and manage your self esteem and self confidence regularly and take a break whenever you start to feel the signs of potential burn out.

For assistance to improve your self esteem and gain self confidence visit www.helpformums.com

11 months ago · · 0 comments

How to improve self esteem through goal setting

Goal Setting and Happiness

goal setting to build self esteemIt’s an interesting aspect of human existence that people would often rather remain in an unhappy environment, than strive towards true happiness. Maybe this has something to do with our inherent mentality of “I’ll be happy when…” – feeling defeated by the pain of the here and now.

Do you focus regularly on your past achievements?

If you think back in time to all the desires you longed for and finally achieved, how many of these do you re-focus on and remind yourself of how great you feel as a result of these achievements? Our brains seem to be wired to focus on thoughts such as “yeh I know I have that, but I don’t want this present feeling and therefore until I get what I really want, I won’t REALLY be happy”.

The sneaky truth is that there is never an end of the road because we will always be seeking new adventures, relationships, material pleasures. There is nothing wrong with pushing goals, however our assumption that only through achievement can we  ultimately gain happiness is flawed.

As human beings we are meant to seek greater heights. We just need to accept this is a fantastic aspect of life, rather than a constant burden. We need to trust that we can map out the journey towards our goals and desires, but the road is likely to take many turns and when we reach our desired outcome we will question “what’s next”???

Therefore the answer lies in being excited about your desires and trusting in your abilities to stand the test of time and pursue your dreams – riding the waves along the way!

Believe in yourself

If you are in a situation or circumstance that is causing extreme unhappiness this focus is even more important. The most important thing to do is begin to build your self esteem and self confidence in your abilities to achieve your desires. You need to trust in your abilities to get you there and focus on the excitement of small achievements along the way. Each achievement should be recognised and rewarded. For instance, having the discipline to sit down and study, completing a highly commended project, getting to gym 3 times this week, or eating healthy foods today.

When you begin to relish in each achievement you gain closer perspective on how to enjoy the road ahead and appreciate each moment.

Life is to be lived, not wasted waiting until happiness falls upon you. It’s your life. Live it & love it.

For more information on how to gain self esteem and build self confidence to achieve your goals visit Happy Life at: www.helpformums.com or follow us on Instagram at: @perfect_mums

Positive Parenting Blog

Positive Parenting Blog