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2 months ago · · 1 comment

The 3 Key Steps to Feel Good About Yourself

How to feel good about yourself?

feel good about yourselfIn the past few weeks I have spoken to lots of people who have told me they are currently feeling really flat. They feel disheartened and defeated by life and don’t feel good about themselves as a result. This is coming from people who are usually very positive and upbeat. So it got me thinking…. “what’s going on?”

Modern life can be a struggle at times, particularly if you are suffering (or have ever suffered) from low self esteem. The news does not help either, as every day seems to be filled with more negative things happening. However, a lot of the current level of low self worth and depression is centred around what is happening in personal relationships. The increase in mental health issues, has also placed a strain on relationships and the breakdown of healthy communication.

We live in a world of Mass Social Media where we are bombarded by opinions and new research daily, so people are quick to judge others and blame others for things they disagree with. This places further pressure on relationships as you develop beliefs about what relationships ‘should’ be like, how people ‘should’ behave and how people ‘should’ look.

In addition to these expectations, comes the expectation of time. Work, family, friends and you personally all demand parts of your time. When you do not meet these external expectations, you are often met with more pressure and disharmony. So what’s the answer? The answer really lies in being confident in the decisions you make about yourself and your immediate family (e.g. your partner and child/ren) and boosting your self esteem to be able to cope with the opinions, beliefs and expectations of others that conflict with your own.

The 3 key steps to feel good about yourself

  1. Find your purpose in life and love it
  2. Cultivate healthier relationships
  3. Absorb the true positives others see in you

What makes you feel good about yourself?

There is the obvious answer to this – how you view yourself in the eyes of others (what you think others think of you). But deeper than this is how you live by the rules you set out for yourself.

The way you feel about yourself is a direct measure of the expectations you believe you should live up to and the value you believe you give to this world. This is why negative external comments by others can be so painful. They directly attack the need we have as human beings to feel valuable in this world. If you have every experienced or known someone who has experienced bullying, you will be able to acutely identify with this.

Step 1: Find your purpose in life and love it – to feel good about yourself

You spend so much time at work.  Wherever you go, people will ask you “what do you do?” So a lot of your self value is based around work.

Happiness is directly related to having a purpose.

Therefore, having a clear purpose is one of the keys to feeling good about yourself. Make sure you have a purpose and make sure it is something you are proud of. If you don’t like your job, find something within your work or personal life to give you purpose until you can move on to another job.

At work you may find purpose in helping others, providing a good service to your clients or customers or knowing you are a part of an industry who’s goal it is to serve the wider community.

Step 2: Cultivate healthier relationships – to how to feel good about yourself

As noted above, personal relationships are the major key to feeling good about yourself. Unfortunately most people persist with very negative relationships in their lives. These negative relationships infect the self esteem and over time, often lead to anxiety and depression.

It is imperative to find ways to protect yourself in negative relationships. Make sure you are not being taken for granted. If you are allowing others to treat you with disrespect, it’s important to first build your self esteem. Then you will have the strength to stand up for yourself. Being assertive does not mean yelling at others or getting into confrontations with others. It means assessing situations and saying “no” or offering alternative solutions when it’s appropriate.

Watch my free video on The Secrets To Successful Communication in Your Relationships to find out how you can improve your relationships today.

Step 3: Absorb the true positives others see in you – to feel good about yourself?

Whilst there will always be challenges in life, there are always others in your life who treat you well. It is really important to get life into balance and note when you are treated well. It’s a little thing, but even when you go into a store and you are treated kindly and with respect, take note of how nice these people were.

When you receive a complement from someone, don’t just dismiss it.  Absorb it. Think about what the person said about YOU and how much he/she values you. These are the world to remember, not the minor negative comments you may hear from time to time. Fill your mind with the TRUTH about what others truly see in you.

The key steps to remember to feel good about yourself

  1. Find your purpose in life and love it
  2. Cultivate healthier relationships
  3. Absorb the true positives others see in you

If you focus on building these 3 elements in your life you will begin to really feel good about yourself and create healthier personal and professional relationships in your life aswell.

lizzie o'halloran - feel good about yourself

lizzie o'halloran - feel good abuot yourself

 

 

Founder of Help For Mums & Happy Life

Author of Perfect Mums & Refresh Your Life

2 years ago · · 0 comments

To Boost Your Self esteem – Don’t seek change in others

how to build optimismIf you are searching to improve your self esteem, you must first make changes internally.

Do you ever think if only circumstances, events or people would change, life will be better? What’s intersting about this misconception is that the way the universe works, you attract into your life experiences that match your internal moods. Psychologically you can interpret this as your life reflecting back at you your perceptions and beliefs.

It seems logical to think if only the horrible boss, friend, family member, partner or acquaintance would change your life would be easier and happier. Yet even when you free yourself from these people without addressing internal beliefs and values, there will be someone just as horrible waiting for you around the corner to make life feel just as miserable. In reality there are plenty of similar thinking people in this world to attract and you will continue to attract them unless you are clear about your boundaries. This is a core aspect of improving self esteem – accepting that you cannot change others. First you must change your thinking and feeling and then your circumstances will change.

The real issue to address is ‘what are you thinking and feeling on a regular basis that is attracting such people into your life and what are you saying (verbally and non-verbally) is ok through your actions? When you don’t stand up for yourself and allow others to treat you with little respect, you demonstrate that you accept such treatment.

When others hurt you, you must look internally and ask yourself what am I missing here? Have I allowed this behaviour to go unaddressed in the past? Have I addressed the issue and been Ignored? Have I excused the behaviour? Is this behaviour the result of me being too passive to say what I would really desire?

Liking yourself is crucial to how to build self esteem

In order to truly be happy you must be happy with who you are. By increasing your own self belief and sticking to your values and beliefs, others around you will quickly learn the ways they should treat you. By working on increasing your inner strength and internal personal power, you can stand strong in the face of negative experiences and walk away feeling healthy and happy.

You have to be your own first priority – never forget that. Care for others, but never at the expense of your personal values and beliefs. Be strong and live happier and healthier.

To learn how to build confidence and gain self esteem visit Happy Life at: https://www.helpformums.com

2 years ago · · 0 comments

How to Boost Self Confidence and Self Worth

self-confident-woman

You don’t have to have self confidence in every aspect of your life to be successful or happy

However, you DO need to have self belief in the areas you strive to succeed in. This is why you can be very successful in your career but feel lost in your relationships. Self belief is situation specific. If you are regularly self sabotaging yourself or feel like a failure in a particular area of your life, take a close look at your level of self belief in this area. For instance if you haven’t succeeded in your career – do you doubt your abilities? Do you allow internal or external circumstances to impact on your self confidence? If you have not succeeded in your desire to attract a long term partner – do you doubt your level of attractiveness? Do you believe you really deserve to be treated with love and respect? Do you think you have enough to offer a partner? Do you fear rejection?

These questions must be answered and dealt with in order to increase your self belief and to drive you to continue to work towards achieving your desired goals. If you have established a desired goal, there MUST be a strong part of you that believes you deserve it and can actually achieve it, otherwise you wouldn’t even try. However, often life circumstances negative thoughts, doubts and insecurities get in the way of these beliefs and curtail your efforts to succeed.

You must leverage on the inherent belief that you can and will achieve your desires! You must trust that your mind is smart enough to know not to create a desire that it believes is not achievable. Thus, it’s important to recognise that you know deep down that your goals are achievable for you. In order to trust your inner beliefs you must learn to ignore and challenge the negative beliefs and expectations of others and yourself. Those who care for you will not want you to struggle and hence may encourage you to push away your dreams. Those who are jealous of you may try to diminish your confidence. You internally may compare yourself to others who have already achieved success and be influenced by self doubt.

The key is to regularly remind yourself that your goals are achievable for you. With persistent effort and determination you will achieve your dreams at the perfect time for you. It’s important to trust this. So… The process of your journey is to map out your plan for success, regularly remind yourself of why you will achieve your goals and then focus in the moment on each step as you get closer and closer to your desires.

If your dreams are truly conceivable for you, they are achievable!

For support and assistance, visit Happy Life at: www.helpformums.com  or follow us on Twitter @lohalloran72