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9 months ago · · 0 comments

How To Stop Worrying About What Colleagues Think of You At Work

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life coaching for professionals and student

How much time do you spend at work worrying about what your superiors might think of you?

Many employees spend countless hours per day worrying about whether or not the boss will like them and even whether or not they will be fired. This fear is partly driven by an ever changing economy and regular news of company closures and downsizing. However, the major driver of this fear is internal insecurity as a result of personalising work.

One of the most common human fears is failure and at work failure can be grounds for dismissal. Whilst this fear can be valid, it is a fear that is usually irrational as most people are working at a high standard – consistent with their high work ethic. The nature of working for someone else leaves one exposed to external circumstances, so it’s important to recognise that all you can do is try your best at work and ensure you treat it like a business, rather than your friend.

People often become very upset about changes in the workplace and in particular negative personalities that make it very difficult to perform ones job well on a daily basis. This is again due to the personalisation and ownership placed on ones career in the first place. In other words, making the mistake of taking work personally and forgetting that it’s a business.

Company downsizing and cutting staff is a perfect example of where Senior Management have to draw the line between work and emotions. The people in charge of firing large quantities of staff must separate the work from emotion in order to think strategically about which staff should be let go. Whilst being friends with your boss may protect you for a while, when it comes to major decisions like these, companies look at productivity and cost savings. So, once again all you can do from a professional standpoint is think regularly about how your contribution at work impacts on the business and don’t allow yourself to be dragged down by negative personalities in the workplace.

As the employee you must think of work as a business and your performance as part of this business. Your personal life is completely separate. The friendships you develop at work have nothing to do with your work (except with respect to forming networks to assist with daily tasks and potential future jobs). They mainly make your day to day life more pleasant and really form part of your personal life – not your professional life.

So, enjoy your relationships at work and start each day with a mindset of success, achievement and contribution to the greater good of your company’s needs. After all, negative people eventually move on and all the work you do will hold you in great stead for new and exciting professional positions in the future.

9 months ago · · 0 comments

Stop Negative Thinking Making You a Prisoner in Your Own Mind

One of the most common patterns of thinking involves focussing (and regularly discussing) how bad you feel because you don’t yet have what you desire. Classic thoughts of lack include:

  • * My home is too small or too old
  • * I am getting too old to have children
  • *I don’t have enough money
  • *I hate my body
  • *I am tired all the time
    work-stress-reduction

    Low self confidence at work resulting in stress

  • *I don’t have any great friends
  • *I will never have a great intimate relationship

It’s human nature to ponder on these beliefs and to discuss them with your friends and relatives. However, if the majority of your thoughts are in this headspace, you are likely to lose track of reality as these thoughts begin to infiltrate your very existence. You can become consumed by them, to the point where you rarely allow you to have fun and relax. Instead you find yourself complaining about the same issues over and over again in the hope that either you, or someone else will find the perfect solution for you. Yet this rarely occurs.

Speaking regularly about things you currently are unable to change leaves you feeling trapped and a complete hostage to your negative thoughts and beliefs. Yes, we all need to vent our frustrations from time to time. However, when you are complaining without finding potential solutions to your problems and then actively taking decisive action to change your life for the positive – you are simply living within the confines of an imprisoned mind.

It’s important to regularly check in with yourself and take note of the conversations you have with those closest to you. For instance, you may regularly be complaining about the job you hate, the boss who is a bully, the friend who lets you down, the baby you really desire and the partner you long for. If this is the case, assess the outcome of these conversations. Have you had any breakthroughs and changed your life as a result of these conversations? Your answer to this question will be quite telling. If you are having these conversations regularly it is most likely that you’re either making little or no progress, are in a situation that can’t be altered right now, or you simply are not ready to step out of your comfort zone to change. Be aware of where you sit in terms of wanting change.

Life will always throw dilemmas our way. However, it is part of our growth to learn from these issues and to take action to positively impact your life and those you care for.

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