3 months ago · lizzie · 0 comments
Fear can become the biggest evil on earth.
Yet how easily it is ingrained in our minds from a very early age.
From the moment of conception a mother begins to fear. She fears for the safety of her child. She fears she will not be a perfect mother, she fears her child may be hurt by others and so on… The energy of fear is being transferred to her child from this very early stage of life and continues to be ingrained in her child throughout life, in an effort to protect her child from harm. Yet, this very intention breads further fear in her child and often attracts the very negative fears that were her intention to be avoided through the constant reminder of how scary the world really is.
Whilst one can say that children need to be made aware of things and people that can hurt them, there are two ways to achieve the same outcome. The first is through fear and the second is through reasoning without fear. Our natural instinct as parents is to use fear. We assume if we scare our kids enough they won’t engage in dangerous behaviours such as running across the toad without looking, swallowing dangerous objects and falling over and hurting their bodies. However, the imbedding of such fears subsequently leads to an internal belief that the world is a scary and dangerous place (the news also enhances thus belief by showing a very skewed perspective of the world as though only horrible things are happening every day).
On the flip side, if you choose to use calm reasoning with your children to help them understand that there is a reward for safe behaviours rather than always a punishment for unsafe behaviours, they will learn to use reasoned judgement and to live their lives in a way that values the ‘self’. They will in turn not learn to fear any new experience and will also learn to not to fear things that appear to be different to them.
So many of life’s tragedy’s have been caused by fear of difference, yet at the core, we are all human beings. When we look at others we need to see the soul, not the exterior. This is where the true person lies.
If you are a parent, start to pay attention to how you may be installing fear in your child/ten. It is extremely easy to do, but it’s never too late to begin to adjust how you explain potentially dangerous behaviours.
Breeding fear can also lead to retaliation, as children start to think you must be exaggerating. They test the boundaries even more because these fearful behaviours are potentially naughty and would be so exciting to engage in and get away with. So, the intention to keep your child safe can end up causing the reverse to happen.
As an adult, also be mindful of the way you were taught to fear things in your environment, such as crossing roads, the boogie man, sun burn, falling down, getting on a plane, wearing a seat belt, talking in church, laughing in class etc… The explanations behind these things will dictate how much you fear your current life and how you allow fear to hold you back from enjoying and succeeding in every aspect of your life.
Yes, be safe and keep your kids safe but be careful in the manner used to explain the reasons behind engaging in safe behaviours.
If fear is holding you back in life or causing your pain contact Happy Life at http://www.helpformums.com/home/how-to-build-self-confidence-and-self-esteem-online-course/