3 weeks ago · lizzie · 0 comments
Negative thinking in motherhood
We all think negatively in times of stress or when we experience feelings of self-doubt. Becoming a mother and the journey throughout motherhood brings with it doubts about whether you a doing enough, whether you are doing the right things, or whether you are good enough. There is no one size fits all manual that gives you the tools to parent perfectly. Add to this the diverse range of parenting styles out there and the range of opinions on best parenting, it’s no wonder negative thinking in motherhood is so rife!
Negative thinking in motherhood holds you back from being your best – as a parent and as an individual
The way you think on a daily basis significantly affects the way you feel.
Negative thinking in motherhood will directly result in you experiencing negative feelings, such as tiredness, anxiety and depression. These all have a negative impact on your ability to parent calmly and to create a happy relationship with your child. Negative thinking in motherhood includes saying thigs to yourself like:
- I am not a good mother, I am always making mistakes
- They never listen to me, I have no control
- They won’t like me any more if I don’t spend 100% of my time and attention being a good mother
- I am a terrible mother for giving my daughter the iPad while I worked
All these negative comments have strong WHOLE statements – like “AM”; “ALWAYS”; “NEVER”, “WON’T”.
Words like AM and NEVER are all encompassing and can be very damaging. They are cues that you are using unhelpful thinking that is likely to dint your self esteem and confidence. When you hear yourself saying comments like these, it’s time to rephrase your thinking to comments like these:
- I make mistakes at times and that’s OK, because I learn from these and become a better parent
- If my kids are not listening to me today, I just need to find another parenting method that is more effective
- My kids need a happy and balanced mother, so taking time out for me when I really need it is healthy for both of us
- It’s OK to sometimes give my child a distraction when I need to focus, it’s not all the time
By changing the way you view events and interpret them, you reverse negative thinking in motherhood to become healthier and more productive. You stop negative thinking destroying your self esteem and you become a more balanced and happier mother as a result.