4 years ago · lizzie · 0 comments
Creating a strong foundation of friendship
I’ve spoken a fair bit about how easy it can be to take those close to you for granted. This common mistake happens regularly stops couples from protecting their self esteem in intimate relationships and within close friendships/families and often ends in broken hearts.
The craziness of modern life can often lead to placing your focus in the wrong place, assuming that those you love will always be there. However, when we look at our heirachy of importance in relationships, those we care deeply for must come first or at least be tended to regularly, in order to sustain a healthy relationship.
Whilst attracting the right partner can seem like the toughest part, maintaining a healthy and happy relationship that stands the test of time is much harder. The underlying foundation of relationships with such longevity is true friendship – being best friends, feeling attracted to each other and feeling comfortable in open and honest communication.
Wedding planners often tell me it is not uncommon these days for a couple to spend around $100,000 on a wedding. It’s no wonder when you think about the fact that the idea of the romantic wedding is engrained into children from a very young age. Yet, the statistics show that there is a 50% divorce rate, indicating that these unions have a 50% chance of breaking up.
Best Friendships are the most powerful
Whilst there are a number of reasons why marriages fail, one reason is that partners are not the best of friends before walking down the isle (or committing to each other in a de-facto relationship). Part of being best friends involves enjoying spending time together, looking forward to seeing each other/speaking to each other and committing to being a team. Many individuals within a partnership can’t wait to spend time with other people in their lives who appear to be more fun (eg avoiding a nagging partner at home). In doing so resentment builds up and couples move further and further away from friendship – and eventually the demise of their relationships.
If you’re currently in a committed relationship take time to really look at your partner regularly and remind yourself of why you fell in love in the first place. Think about what first attracted you to each other, focus on how you would feel if you ever lost this person. It’s vital to get in touch with these feelings regularly so that you never lose sight of what’s really important to you.
If you are single, or in a new relationship ensure you look for a compatible partner that you are attracted to, but most importantly that you truly like spending time with, in order to develop a true best friendship over time. Begin with a great foundation and you will develop a partnership for life that can stand the rest of time.
For more Free self esteem support and to learn how to build self esteem and gain confidence visit Happy Life at: www.selfesteemonline.com.au or follow us on Twitter at: @perfect_mums or on Instagram at: @how_to_build_self_esteem