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    coping with criticism

    How to Build Self Confidence and Improve Self Esteem Online Course – Week 5: Coping with Criticism From Yourself and Others

    Congratulations on completing Week 4 of the program

    Week 4 was all about learning to recognise your negative and unhelpful thinking styles.

    A low self esteem is often coupled with negative thinking. A low self esteem will ultimately affect how well you get along with other people, your professional career/level of success and your health. Think about a time when you felt really angry or sad. Now can you recall how this made you feel – physically? Usually such negative feelings follow negative thoughts and result in a sick feeling in the stomach or chest. In fact some people suggest that prolonged bouts of negative mood can lead to cancer and heart disease later in life. In reverse, much research has shown the benefits of positive thinking, relaxation and meditation on the body an these techniques have been used in therapy to assist the body in the healing process when suffering from illnesses such as cancer. It’s all well and good to understand the physical effects of negative mood states, but it’s much more important to make a commitment to alter your negative moods through the tools you learnt in Week 4 and those you will put into place in Week 5 of the Feel Great Now program.  The point of these exercises is not to say “no more negative thinking”. It’s about acknowledging how you feel and finding a more resourceful way to respond that won’t leave you feeling sick and exhausted and won’t impact negatively on your self-esteem.

    Did You Know?

    It’s very possible that the negative beliefs you’ve been carrying around for so long are simply wrong/untrue. For instance, you may have a belief that money only comes as a result of hard work and even then, you only ever just have enough to get by. This belief may have come about as a result of living in a household watching your parents struggling for money, yet working 7 days a week. When you have a belief like this, you find it very difficult and often feel very uncomfortable with an abundance of money. So when you do receive money easily you find a way to spend it to reduce the uncomfortable feeling. This is why so many people who win the lottery lose the money so quickly. So in order to change your life, it’s crucial to make a list of the negative beliefs that are holding you back and (a) challenge them – as shown in Week 5 and (b ) repeat an opposite statement about the belief to yourself over and over again until you believe it. See the example below:

    BELIEF: I must always say “yes” when people ask me for something, otherwise I’m a bad person

    CHALLENGE: How do I define a ‘bad’ person? Surely I don’t measure up to this definition.

    OPPOSITE STATEMENT: I have a right to say “no” from time to time, just like other people do.

    “You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself be”

    Lou Holtz

    Why it’s important to have a high self-esteem

    When you have a high self-esteem you are less likely to feel insecure. Insecurity can ruin relationships. When you feel insecure you can view the world in a way that causes you to feel that the world is against you. Insecurity can cause you to push loved ones away, or to feel extreme anxiety whenever you’re around people who are themselves insecure, jealous or negative.

    Now Let’s Get Started with Week 5

    The 3 Step process

    Increase your self esteem at your own pace. Simply click on the links below to be taken to your corresponding sections of the self esteem boosting program week’s activities. Each activity is very easy to follow. The activities are designed to be interactive and fun, so living happy is never a chore or boring!

    You can return to the Self Esteem Course HOME PAGE at any time, by clicking the button below.


    Week 5 Video Tutorial



    Audio Link – Reducing Insecurity

    This audio focused on reducing insecurity and fear of loss/insecurity – how to stop it. Fear is a debilitating emotion which can prevent you from achieving all your dreams, from completing every day tasks, or from simply taking part in activities that you’d really like to take part in, but fear being criticised, rejected or making a mistake. It’s time to reduce this fear and take charge of your life.

    how to be more confident

    Practical Guide


    Now it’s time to challenge those distorted thinking styles you learnt about last week. In this section you’ll find a recording sheet which gives you a step by step process to begin to question your negative thoughts when you notice them taking place. If you don’t notice them at the time they’re happening, go through this process upon reflection later on. For instance, if you find yourself experiencing a negative emotion, backtrack to see where your negative thoughts might be coming from that have resulted in the negative emotion taking place.

    Building self-esteem tripple column technique